Mommy is in Timeout

On Tuesday I kept tweeting about my Day of Lasts.

Last Diet Coke.

Last straight-to-my-thighs food.

Last day of being off track.

Back in the spring I was on a major weight loss kick.

I lost 32 pounds from late April to early July.

However, I had a big hill to climb because I wanted to lose 100 pounds total.

A daunting number. One that, from what Dr. Oz’s new show tells me, I won’t reach unless I give up all the bad stuff.

However, If you know a diet that does include chips and pop, please clue me in.

I did really well up until our summer trip to California.

Then on vacation, I cheated. Then I cheated some more. When vacation ended, I continued to cheat a LOT more.

I haven’t ran since our last day in California, which was July 25th.

I’ve gained back 12 of the 32 pounds I’d lost.

These hips don’t lie.

And they’re making my fat pants not fit.

It’s time for a change. Again.

I bought my ticket to Blissdom Monday and made a promise to myself that I’ll be in a different body by that point.

I need to rock my flowered grandma dress on the dance floor in Tennessee. As long as it’s not past my bedtime. (if you have no idea why I’ll be wearing a flowered dress or going to bed early, read this post)

Tuesday was my #dayoflasts on Twitter.

On September 21st I started the 17-day-diet-but-modifying-it-for-me-and-doing-it-to-Christmas-diet. I always complicate things.

I will allow myself one day per month to veer off of this diet path and also Thanksgiving is a freebie day. Because, well, there are mashed potatoes, red cabbage and stuffing.

Mommy doesn’t miss out on a perfect storm of food.

As for my #daysoflasts…

I sipped on my last Starbucks Venti Hot Chocolate with Whip. Oh how I’ll miss your luke-warmness running down my throat.

I had my last french fry. Ok, I know I’m supposed to be getting real here people. Correct that – my last french fries. Nobody will give you a ketchup and ranch bath like I do.

And last, but certainly not least, my beloved McDonald’s Diet Coke. It is my life’s mission to find out what Ronald does differently with the pop there. I know there’s a secret formula. But, for now, I will have to push the pause button on that research.

I’m not sure how I’ll control my car when I pass the golden arches of goodness from not automatically turning in.

If you see me mention that I’m having a pop, blast me.

If you see me talking about wanting to fire up the oven and have a taquito at midnight after #wineparty, hold me.

If you smell pizza rolls on my breath, lock my fridge. And then give me a breath mint.

Day of lasts, I won’t forget you. Thanks for the memories.

This Mommy is back on track.

My dear beloved Diet Coke,I can’t quit you. I know I should. You’re not good for me. But, you are just so yummy and addicting. I can’t bear to let you go.We found each other 16 years ago – a whirlwind college romance. It was one of those soul mate moments you only read about in books.You’ve always been there for me when I needed you most. For that 8am class, you were my caffeine kick. At dinner, you were always the perfect accessory. On a Friday night, you and the Captain always seem to get along perfectly in my glass.I will miss holding your little cylinder of thirst quenching deliciousness in my hands.  I will miss driving through McDonald’s to pick you up – ice cold from the soda fountain. And McDonald’s straws? Perfection. We’ve had several make-out sessions once you’re in the car. Let’s not tell anyone.In a restaurant, I always hated the words “Is Diet Pepsi OK?” A little part of me would die because I would know you weren’t there. I felt like I was unfaithful.I’ll come back to you on special occasions. I’ll sneak sips. I’ll lie to others when they smell you on my breath. But for now, we just can’t continue on the way we have been.I will miss you. I will love you. Forever and ever.ElenaFounder, Diet Coke Anonymousp.s Don’t tell anyone about our late night rendezvous last night in the kitchen. Let’s keep that on the down low.

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This post was for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop. I chose the prompt - Write a love letter to someone or something.